So, you’re in quarantine due to the coronavirus and you jump into high anxiety when the delivery person comes within six feet of your closed door.
If you’re a Rosso girl like I am – aka female descendant of any Italian-American nana or great-aunt – that’s nothing new. We’ve been dealing with that since we were old enough to reach the kitchen table.
In case you don’t capeesh, here’s what I mean:
- Visitors to your house can’t go home until you’ve given them more paper bags of goodies than they brought in
- You wiped down the table, sinks and counters after they leave — before the coronavirus hit
- Your childhood trauma over white-glove inspections by the great aunts won’t let you have visitors if the house is a “complete mess”
- The house is a complete mess until the beds are made
- The beds aren’t made until:
– the sheets and blankets are tucked in with hospital corners at the bottom of the mattress
– The sheets and the blankets have been smoothed down four times, twice on each side, so no wrinkles show
-The sheets and the blankets are hanging evenly on both sides and then tucked under the mattress on both sides
-The top sheet is folded over the the top of the blanket to exactly where the hem mark is
-The pillows are plumped, smoothed and ends turned over, then placed exactly the same distance from each edge of the bed
-The bed cover is pulled up over the pillows, tucked under the edge of the pillows, adjusted until the sides hang evenly, then smoothed six times, two on each side and one from top and bottom so wrinkles won’t show.
-Finally, no one is allowed to sit on the bed because WRINKLES MIGHT SHOW.
- You no longer iron any clothes for yourself, but if a male in the house needs a dress shirt, you pull out the ironing board, heat up the iron, and press on until NO WRINKLES SHOW